


And He Did It...AGAIN!

by DAAthren



Series: The FanFic Corner Prompts [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cupboard Sex, Dark Comedy, F/M, Humor, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Mindwiping, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 22:18:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1915932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAAthren/pseuds/DAAthren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was supposed to be a relaxing week. The Doctor actually had normal things to do for once...so...how things did end up like this!?</p>
            </blockquote>





	And He Did It...AGAIN!

**Author's Note:**

> At The FanFic Corner on FB, I asked for prompts. Miss Thanathosx49 gave me 11/Clara, Budapest, and a tyre iron (that thing that you use to take the bolts off of a car tire to change a flat). This turned into Dark Humor/Dark Comedy so you have been warned!

Budapest…one of the most beautiful cities in Europe filled with high end hotels, fine dining, specialty foods, spas, and tourist parks. Clara was looking forward to exploring this wonderful city while the Doctor attended an art conference happening at the local civic center. She was quite surprised when he told her that he actually had exceptional painting and clay work skills and then he proceeded to do a charcoal drawing of her, followed by making her a set of ceramic bowls to give to her father. She even watched him check to see that there was no possibility for an alien invasion or evil corporation that would need to be taken down during their stay. He told her there was only a 3% chance for something to fly under the radar of the Tardis. Three bloody percent…

Instead of getting her achy feet pampered at their hotel’s spa, she was in her jam jams, sitting in a maintenance cupboard that was DEFINITELY not designed to have 2 bodies in it with the Doctor’s pointy elbow jammed painful under her left breast. “Clara…is there any way for you to scoot back a bit so I can try to get into a more comfortable position? My back is starting to cramp up.”

Oh that was it! She didn’t care if the brain eating aliens heard her or not! She was going to give the Doctor a piece of her mind before she took the tyre iron, which she didn’t understand why it was in the cupboard and not in the trunk of someone’s car, and murder him with it. “Doctor…I want you to listen to me very carefully. We are STUCK in a cupboard that was only meant to hold mops and Mr. Clean. I can’t move because your lanky arse is taking up most of the room. I haven’t had my morning tea. My feet hurt. And you, yes YOU, have ruined yet another bout of ’relaxation’ time. Plus, PLUS, your elbow is jabbing me in my ribs HAAARRDDD! If anyone should be asking for more room It. Is. Me!” She emphasized the last words with slaps upside his head.

“OOoooowww Clara! Stop that! It is NOT my fault that a random group of Jivarians decided to crash the conference. What did you want me to do? Let them run amok and kill half of the hotel staff?” he whined to her. He attempted to move his hand up to his head to try to soothe the spot where she hit him but he only proceeded to cause his back to cramp up more from the odd twisting he had to do and elicit another slap from her. 

“No, Doctor, I don’t expect you to just ignore an alien threat but WHY in the world did you need me? You dragged me out of bed saying that you needed my help. You didn’t even give me time to change into something decent. And then, THEN, the only thing you needed me to do was hold a wire that you could have just hung off to the side. You, mister, are more trouble than you are worth!” she exclaimed.

She could barely make him out in the darkness but she knows that sigh of defeat. It was usually followed by the “I’m an angry, kicked puppy. Forgive me even though I don’t deserve it” look. “I just…I hadn’t seen you for a few hours and I figured you wouldn’t want to miss the excitement,” he mumbled.

“Doctor, I love a good adventure just as much as you do but you promised me after the Tardis almost exploding that we would have a peaceful adventure.”

“But Clara, it’s Jivarians! They have such fascinating anatomy and, oh, their slime glows in the dark. I mean you got a day’s worth of rela-“

“Fourteen hours of ‘relaxation’ which I spent 12 hours of sleeping and the other 2 lounging in bed,” she said slapping the arm that was jabbing her in the ribs.

“Really, Clara? You slept for 12 hours. You humans sleep too much!”

“Well, I would only need 6-8 hours a night if SOMEONE I know would actually let me sleep instead of barging into my room every hour with something ‘interesting’ to look at. So, really, you have me trapped in a cupboard over a problem you didn’t need my help on. You just thought I would want the excitement on OUR relaxation trip.”

“Well, yea…”

There was a long pause after that but, with his superior Time Lord senses, he knew she was quite angry with him. Her pulse was pounding at a fast rate and she was dripping with hormones closely associated with anger. If he didn’t think of something quick, she was definitely going beat him to death with the tyre iron and he was still calculating whether or not he had another regeneration. “Clara, ok, I’m lying to you. Please don’t beat me with the iron!”

He felt her exhale which wafted over him with a tiny hint of mint, “Oh really? You’re lying to me. Alright, spill it! Why did you REALLY drag me down here?”

“I…well, you see…IreallymissedyousoIfiguredIgofetchyou,” he said in one, long breath.

“What was that? I didn’t hear you properly.”

“Alright! I really missed you last night. With you insisting on separate rooms even though we have the Presidential suite, I couldn’t talk to you at all last night after we landed. I…only wake you up in the middle of the night because I miss you or things like that one time I set the library on fire,” he said earnestly, bracing himself for slap he was still expecting. _”Let’s be real here…I probably only saved myself from being beaten to death NOT from the actual beating.”_

So he was quite surprised when he heard her shuffle around in the dark, knocking several things over only to give him a tight hug. He tensed for a moment, thinking that she was only giving him a final comfort before beating him, but he soon relaxed after 30 seconds went by and her heart rate slowed. 

“Oook…I was expecting a slap but this is more than alright.”

She giggled into his neck and he fought with his body’s response to it. He did NOT need random arousal ruining the quiet, innocent hug they were in. He wanted to hug her back as well but in the odd position they were in, he knew that it wasn’t going to happen unless some serious stretching was done. 

“Here, Clara, let’s get into a more comfortable position for both of us. I’m sure you are feeling a bit left from the lack of receiv…Clara, what are you doing?”

She had begun to nibble at his pulse point as she shuffled around in the dim light again before straddling his lap, essentially. “Well, you just admitted that you miss me. Your friend doesn’t just barge into your room multiple times a night. They just wait for morning,” she mumbled against his neck, giving it a firm bite. The Doctor tensed up in her arms before groaning, his hands coming down to her hips and pulling her away from him.

“Please…this is not the time nor place to discuss things like this. I do NOT have feelings for you like that.”

“This,” she said as she ground down on his growing bulge, “says otherwise.”

He gasped out at the motion, his hips betraying him as he thrusted upwards against her. “Alright…yes I do have feelings for you Clara but I stand by saying this is not the PPpplllallalllaaceee…” His voice trailed off as she grinded onto him slowly with figure eight motions, her lips suckling greedily on his pulse. _“No no no…this is wrong! Think about your friendship. Tell her about how you killed your people. How you were marr-OH GODS HOW IS SHE BENDING OVER LIKE THAT TO DO THAT WITH HER TONGUE ON MY COCK!?”_

With the stuttered moan that escaped him, he threaded his fingers through her hair and she knew that she wouldn’t have any more protests out of him.

~*~*~*~*~

“And you see your honor THAT is why the guards found us in the no trespassing zone. I also say it stands to reason that I am also the one who…captured the…murderers that wiped out all of the maintenance staff at the hotel. I really hope you see it in your heart to let us go with just a fine and our promise never to do anything indecent in public again,” the Doctor said with a grin to the Budapest judge.

The judge eyed him then Clara several times before speaking, “I hereby sentence you, the Doctor and Clara Oswin Oswald to a fine of $3000 each. I don’t want to see you two around these parts for AT LEAST 3 years, got it?”

Clara jumped up from her seat, smiling, “Got it Judge Rowan!”

“Court dismissed!” the Judge yelled, slamming his gavel on the stand.

The Doctor and Clara walked out of the court holding hands and beaming at each other all the way to the Tardis. It wasn’t until he sent them into the Vortex that she finally spoke up to him, “You did it…again!”

“I knooow!”

“I don’t know how you make these stories up off of the top of your head,” she said, crossing her arms. He shrugged his shoulders at her, looking up at the monitor above his head, “Nine hundred years’ worth of practice. I’ve been telling stories since I came out of the loom.”

“The what?”

“Nevermind, I know how uncomfortable my cot was in the jail. You should go take a nice, hot bath while I drive us back to Budapest 3 years from now.”

She was almost to the hallway before she turned back around, looking at him in confusion, “Doctor?”

“Yes, Clara?” he answered, not looking away from the monitor.

“How did you have time to alter the memories of those 2 guards? I mean, do you alter memories often ooorr…”

“No, I have never altered your memories. I did it on the car ride over here. I couldn’t very well tell them at first that the body we were standing over was an alien that looked human. And don’t worry, they will never know that it happened. Again, I’m really clever!”

She stood there for a while, just watching him before turning around to head towards her room. He waited until the Tardis told him she was in the tub before he stopped the unnecessary fidgeting he was doing with the monitor and leaned up against the console, loosening his tie and shirt to reveal a rather purple hickey on his neck. The Tardis had been sending him waves of disapproval since they came back aboard. His ship might not like Clara but she didn’t approve of such things being done.

Sighing, he lowered his head in shame before mentally speaking with his ship, _“She deserves so much better than me. She can never know…”_


End file.
